Feel As You Feel

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Sometimes I am battered, mad and self-abusive,
Over the difference between what I feel,
And what is often said I ought to feel,
Which is usually what others feel and is popular.
(Others! God bless them!
They seem to live in minor key,
So I wonder if what they feel is real.)
But then I laugh,
The way anyone in love laughs, and think,
“How can I feel otherwise?
Should I stoop to make my life a show of lies,
To seem like others?
I will never choose to shred my sense of self in lies,
Shroud my originality in a fashionable unanimity.”

The truth is I feel God involved in be and being.
I am warmed by the love of God that is up, about and doing.
In me I find God lives, so there must be others.
I see His soul in others around me as I look for it.
I find and kneel to a Universal Presence,
Far stronger than mankind’s confused, tiny brain,
And the rattle of reason a gross mankind,
Like a baby, waves as wildly as any witch doctor.

I have concluded with the Apostle,
“By the grace of God, I am what I am,”
And through His grace,
I will feel what I feel!
I will say what I feel.
I will sing with David to witness Jehovah.
His grace washes me with light,
So I feel alive to God.
Grace is as necessary to HAVING LIFE as air.
I pity those who never revel in God’s grace,
Those who have a song but no inner spiritual music,
A catechism but no living Spirit behind the words,
A religion but no Redeemer to walk with inside it.
I sorrow for those who never rise to God’s presence,
And without Jesus Christ have no transcending moments,
But spend modern de-spiritualized lives,
Trying to get people to reject natural beliefs and views.
These are a new form of modern industrialized eunuchs,
Trying to cut God out of themselves and their neighbors' lives, to
make the world more unnatural, irregular and joyless,
Than it already is. Such shallow people are godless people!
But rest easy, those who say everything is only flesh,
Are a but a wind that passes and will not return again.
They have made the people trust in a lie.
Little but sorrow and confusion will come out of their lies.
So I say what I feel, God,
And say it is grace to feel as I feel.

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Dr. James MacLeod may be contacted through the Neill Macaulay Foundation.